Change Never Changes

My ideas always change. A few months ago, I told my friend Tika.
"Hei, I wanna get scholarship, and I know how to get it. I'm working hard on it now" That's what I told her confidently. She agreed with me, and she'd like to take the same way. She has the same dream with me: get scholarship and get away from work for a while.

Now, I think, I've changed my ideas. I'm a little bit discouraged. It's all back to my old dreams. I wanna be traveler and writer instead of post graduate student. I wanna real school. Life itself. Being traveler which means always travels from one place to others, gotta know what local people do, learn their cultural and languages, are what I always want to do since decades ago.

I have two dreams, actually. Traveler and Writer. It means that I want to write places that I have visited.

*****

Lucky me. For the last few days, I read Avgustin's backpacking experiences through Middle Asia and Tibet. They become voices in my head, to push me move forward.

Citing to two Paulo Coelho's works, The Alchemist and The Fifth Mountain,about how everyone can fulfill his/her personal legend. It's the main idea of these two books. Even though in The Alchemist, focuses on when you have dream, the universe would work to help you (how we dare to catch our dreams). While in Fifth Mountain, everyone has been destinied to be SOMETHING. Sometimes, we deny it by being something else. At the beginning, we're very sure about our being. Later, we find, that is not what we should be.

Coelho has experienced it himself.

Since he had been a little boy, he would like to be a writer. Instead of being writer, he worked as composer in record company. He was at his peak of career when his boss fired him all of sudden. He became jobless, then. Good side of this event was, he remembered his dream: BEING WRITER.

What happens to me?

I become researcher instead of traveler and writer. Off course I write. Off course I travel (to do some researches). But the different is, my work is quite "serious work" And me? Such kind of not serious person who does not like serious matters such as politics. But, my work has close relation with politics such as local politics, local government policies, as well as I criticize national government policies. The truth is, I'd prefer to write movies or books reviews, traveling or life. They're more fun!

But, I do thanking God for what I get. And never stop to find my personal legend. Maybe I will. Someday. Who knows.

PS. I envy my best friend, Faishal. He really knows what he wants, and what to do. He told me how he knows exactly what he wants: since he's married. Then he suggested me to get married. I exclaimed, "What????!!!! Marriage is not panacea."