No Tittle

For the last few days, I contemplate about my current live. Is it in the right track? Do I do it with all passion? Suddenly, I found something, that I'm no such big different with Any Sacks, the character in Devil Wears Prada.

For the last five years, I have been with the same job. My work is great. I enjoy it, indeed. But, sometimes, I feel that I'm in the wrong place. For somebody who knows me better, does not believe that I'm dealing with that such issues in my work. I enjoy it since I travel to many places, I meet new people and I do learn from them. I have many wonderful experiences. I earn enough to support my personal life.

But then, I realize that I'm still in the same point. I feel like Santiago, the shepherd, who found that his life had been so perfect. He'd been around Spain with his sheep. Then, he dreamed about finding treasure in Egypt. The, the adventure began. He sold his sheep and went to Egypt. Even though, he did not know anything about Egypt, and how far it is from Spain. The future is unsure, if I can say. But, he was not afraid. He just believed in his dream.

This time, I have to be like Santiago. I have to sell all my sheep. And, catch all my dreams. I know, the future is uncertain.

As an epilog, I remember the last scene in Devil Wears Prada, when Andy threw her cell-phone and left her boss in Paris.

10 April 2006

I noted that day. 10 April 2006. Tika, Bebe, and I, were sitting in FISIP's gazebo, counted the best and the worst time during our colleges years. We spent the whole afternoon there.

We talked about our plans. Tika with her plans, Bebe too, and off course I did. I told them that I'd like to join the Foreign Affairs. I had prepared for the last a year, by taking foreign language, but English. They laughed. "No, darling. You don't want to go there.... You said that you want to join to NGM. Remember that?" Yeah, I did really remember, very clearly. Since then, I decided not to join that department. I don't why, just it does not fit me.

At the end of our conversation, we pledged, "Let's see each other in Prague, five years from now" We did not know, where the idea came from. We just said so.... We held hands. Like, we never be separated as best friends. And, we did not know, why must be Prague. For us, who sometimes, told ourselves being Socialist, Prague is such an icon. It's the place where Kafka was born. It's a place where Velvet Revolution occured. It's a place where all cultures and thought are mixture. It's a place of beauty. With the beauty of Bohemia in our mind. The place for its crystal. Everything was on our mind.

Mates, the three of us, everyday are chasing our dreams. Tika, is dwelling in Jakarta with her love live and her work as journalist. Bebe, is struggling with her humans right ideas in United Nations (UN) while preparing her leaving on September to UK. And me, is living with all these dreams. The dreams that would take me to places I wanna to be. Dreams of back to the world where leaves falling, the wind blows with its breezing joy and with all those happy faces. The world which smells of pulp and paper. Oh, I love that world.

Everyday, we count about meeting in Prague, 10 April 2011.

Karena Hidup Bukan Matematika

Mates, hidup penuh dengan ketidakpastian. Karena memang, hidup bukan Matematika. Yang satu ditambah satu sama dengan dua. Masa depan kita adalah sebuah misteri. Kita tidak pernah tahu, apa yang akan terjadi dalam beberapa detik ke depan. Hanya saja, aku percaya, bahwa hidup kita saat ini, dan sebelumnya dipersiapkan untuk "menanti datangnya misteri itu terkuak"

Ketika pada suatu ketika, aku pernah mengungkap pada Bebe kalau aku ketakutan tentang masa depan, dia dengan santai menjawab "Kamu tidak usaha mengkuatirkan masa depan, Emon..." Waktu aku share hal itu ke Tika, dia kurang sepaham dengan Bebe. Akan tetapi, ketika tadi malam aku mulai resah dan gelisah, aku curhat ke Tika via YM tentang perlunya plan B dalam hidupku, Tika bilang, "barangkali Bebe benar. Kita tidak perlu mengkhawatirkan masa depan" Tadi malam, Tika sangat bijaksana sekali. Dia juga bilang begini, "Don't expect too much on the end result.." She was very right.

Aku memang tidak perlu kuatir apapun dengan hidupku. Hidup memang selalu tidak pasti, tapi itulah yang membuat hidup selalu menarik. Dan, memacu adrenalin kita. Aku harus segala siap dengan hidup, seperti apapun rupanya nanti. Tapi, aku harus tetap optimis, aku bisa menjalaninya dengan baik. Dan, yang terpenting, aku harus tetap punya mimpi. Karena, mimpi itulah yang membuat orang sepertiku tetap hidup. Aku tidak punya apa-apa, selain MIMPI.

Mimpi Semalam

Semalam, saya bermimpi "sedikit" aneh. Saya merasa traveling bersama dengan para teman perempuan saya. Kami berada dalam sebuah bis berwarna biru yang sangat besar. Kami pergi ke sebuah tempat yang sangat indah. Dari mimpi itu, terdengar bahwa tempat itu adalah Wisata Bahari Lamongan (WBL). Tapi, sebenarnya adalah bukan. Sepanjang jalan, adalah batu-batu karang yang sangat besar. Tapi, seperti kebanyakan mimpi, tidak pernah detail dan jelas. Hanya, tempat itu indah sekali....

Kemudian, tiba-tiba mimpi melompat ke tempat yang lain. Saya tiba-tiba ada dalam sebuah ruangan yang sangat bersih. Arsitekturnya bagus. Tapi, sekali lagi, tidak pernah jelas itu arsitektur mana. Hanya saja, di tembok ada tulisan IQRO' dan ALLAH.

Lalu, aku terbangun karena ingin pipis, hehehe.

Prague: City I Want to Visit

Entah kenapa, Praha menjadi kota yang benar-benar ingin aku kunjungi. Saat ini, dan beberapa waktu mendatang.

Mungkin, karena baru saja aku menyelesaikan Traveler's Tales: Prague and Czech Republic. Dalam travelogue itu, ditulis artikel-artikel tentang Prague oleh orang-orang yang pernah tinggal disana, atau orang-orang yang lahir disana, kemudian menjadi exile di tempat lainnya. Benar-benar sebuah buku yang sangat menarik.

Aku kemudian membayangkan, kota tempat 3 K dilahirkan (Kafka, Klima dan Kundera). Aku membayangkan berjalan di atas cobblestone, menyusuri Charles Bridge diantara gedung-gedung dengan campuran berbagai macam arsitektur: Baroque, Gothic, Renaissance, Cubist, Art Nouveau, Neo-Classical dan Ultra Modern. Diantara barisan katedral, taman kota, dan semua yang ada disana.

Kota ini atau lebih tepatnya negara ini, adalah negara yang telah mengalami banyak masa/sejarah yang mengagumkan. Dari jaman tidak komunis-menjadi komunis-dan menjadi tidak komunis lagi, setelah terjadinya Velvet Revolution.

Namun, jauh sebelum aku membaca buku bagus itu, kita bertiga: Tika, Bebe dan aku, di gazebo FISIP UNAIR, 10 April 2006. Kita sepakat, lima tahun dari waktu itu, kita bertiga akan bertemu di Prague.... Dari detik itu, Prague is already in my mind.

Prague, wait for me.....

Change Never Changes

My ideas always change. A few months ago, I told my friend Tika.
"Hei, I wanna get scholarship, and I know how to get it. I'm working hard on it now" That's what I told her confidently. She agreed with me, and she'd like to take the same way. She has the same dream with me: get scholarship and get away from work for a while.

Now, I think, I've changed my ideas. I'm a little bit discouraged. It's all back to my old dreams. I wanna be traveler and writer instead of post graduate student. I wanna real school. Life itself. Being traveler which means always travels from one place to others, gotta know what local people do, learn their cultural and languages, are what I always want to do since decades ago.

I have two dreams, actually. Traveler and Writer. It means that I want to write places that I have visited.

*****

Lucky me. For the last few days, I read Avgustin's backpacking experiences through Middle Asia and Tibet. They become voices in my head, to push me move forward.

Citing to two Paulo Coelho's works, The Alchemist and The Fifth Mountain,about how everyone can fulfill his/her personal legend. It's the main idea of these two books. Even though in The Alchemist, focuses on when you have dream, the universe would work to help you (how we dare to catch our dreams). While in Fifth Mountain, everyone has been destinied to be SOMETHING. Sometimes, we deny it by being something else. At the beginning, we're very sure about our being. Later, we find, that is not what we should be.

Coelho has experienced it himself.

Since he had been a little boy, he would like to be a writer. Instead of being writer, he worked as composer in record company. He was at his peak of career when his boss fired him all of sudden. He became jobless, then. Good side of this event was, he remembered his dream: BEING WRITER.

What happens to me?

I become researcher instead of traveler and writer. Off course I write. Off course I travel (to do some researches). But the different is, my work is quite "serious work" And me? Such kind of not serious person who does not like serious matters such as politics. But, my work has close relation with politics such as local politics, local government policies, as well as I criticize national government policies. The truth is, I'd prefer to write movies or books reviews, traveling or life. They're more fun!

But, I do thanking God for what I get. And never stop to find my personal legend. Maybe I will. Someday. Who knows.

PS. I envy my best friend, Faishal. He really knows what he wants, and what to do. He told me how he knows exactly what he wants: since he's married. Then he suggested me to get married. I exclaimed, "What????!!!! Marriage is not panacea."